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SURVEY SEZ:
AMERICA STILL HUNGRY
FOR VERBS
A
factual report by Jesse Elias
A
strange phenomenon
is taking place right beneath our noses. More and more, Americans are
eschewing traditional foods like meatloaf and fruit loops in favor of
edible "action words" that make sedintary gorging seem fun by taking
processed foods and couching them in the language of physical activity.
I am fairly certain that within the next fifty years, man will subsist
entirely on a diet of wraps, twists, rips, grips, gulps, shoves, and
circumnavigations. But as Levar Burton once said, "you don't have to
take my word for it;" scroll down and see for yourself:
Bakes
Gripz (pluralized with a 'z' for street cred)
Meltz

Wraps (Toasted Wraps, or Roasted Toasted Wraps, if you don't want
crispy)
Quakes

Yogos ( Not a verb, but I would like to hear a linguist's take on the
phrase "yogurty-covered fruity dots")
Yogos Bits

Yogos Bits Crashers
(coming soon: Yogos
Bits Crashers Groovers Movers Jammin' Pack)

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